Your birthday is swiftly approaching now. Sometime near the end of the next 10 weeks you'll be in my arms and my womb will be empty yet again. All will be right with the world and at the same time the world will be changed entirely by your presence.
These weeks leading up to your birth are exhausting and full. I'm teaching and caring for your brother and sister, making our home and loving your papa. This all sounds basic and necessary, but it feels weighty as my mind and body are feeling the grip of your impending arrival.
I'm awake at night often, thinking about you, making mental lists of all I hope to accomplish before we meet. I'd like to tackle so many tasks but I know my most important project now is you--just you.
So I'm repeating your potential names in my head over and over, trying to settle into them so I'll know they're just right when I gaze into your steel-hued eyes.
I'm reading my favorite childbirth book to get back into the frame of mind that I'll be harnessing all of my energy, strength and faith to handle your delivery with grace so that yours will be a peaceful transition into the outside world.
And with your every stretch and roll against my midsection, I'm imagining your tiny limbs, your tender belly, your delicate face. I'm dreaming of you. Despite the constant reminders of your realness through hiccups and jabs, you're still just that to me--a dream.
It won't be long now and I can't wait to meet you.
But don't rush. Although it's becoming more difficult for me to be comfortable with you inside, I am content with our current situation. I am fully able to care for your every need right now and it's relatively easy. When the hard work comes of figuring you out on the outside, I'll be ready. But for right now I like you close, just below my heart.
I love you. I'll be seeing you soon.
Love,
Mama
So sweet!
ReplyDeleteLet's forget for a moment how sweet this post is (because it really is very sweet) and just focus on that picture. Is that real? Is that you? Were you in your first trimester there? Seriously, I can't believe I ever survived being pregnant at the same time as you--and in bikinis at the pool nonetheless! You look fantastic.
ReplyDeleteNow, as for that post: tiny baby is lucky to have such a good mama waiting on the outside. You're lovely, inside and out.
Ditto Emily's comment that you're lovely, inside and out. Oh, how I would like for all babies to be so wanted and cherished. Bella just commented that she wished her birth mama had written her such a loving letter.:( Hugs to all, Flavia/Otto, too.
ReplyDeletePS Last week I had another of my recurring dreams where I am very pregnant and about to birth. This one was a little girl with lots of silky hair. Oh, how I loved birthing my babies. Incredible that I'm still dreaming those dreams.
You are an amazing lady! Seriously every time I check in you inspire me to be better. I can't remember once having that good of an attitude about pregnancy. Perhaps that is why a fourth will never be on the way at our house :)
ReplyDeleteThis is so, so sweet and you are such a graceful mommy! I love your sentiment here. It's interesting to hear echoes of my own thoughts just a few short months ago and now be on the flipside of it all.
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