This is the day

A lot of things changed when I was 32.

I became this little guy's mama.



I snuggled him and soothed him the way no one else in the world ever could. I got to witness his first smiles and flutters of excitement over his siblings' faces, blades of grass in his tiny hands and grains of sand between his toes. I got to hear his voice the very first time he used it. I saw his eyes turn from steely blue into brown.



I got to usher him into this world and nourish and love him along the way.



She made me the mother of a kindergartner.



I sent her off to school and watched her begin to blossom outside the nest after five hard years of full-time, at-home nurturing. I also held her and gave her fresh-baked cookies when she came home with feelings hurt on the playground. I heard her first words in a new language after Spanish class. I heard her first words read aloud from a book all by herself, and watch as a whole new world opened up with the ability to read.



I got to continue to be her teacher, her primary caregiver, but most importantly, still her mother.

I started to understand all of the quirks and characteristics that make my oldest son one of the most unique people I've ever met.



I saw him become a big brother. I watched him tumble and jump and master great climbing feats on the playground. I heard his first prayers. I snuggled him and read to him a lot.



There was a job promotion. Two household moves. Lots of colds and fevers. Potty-training. Temper tantrums. Disneyland vacation. Visits with grandparents. Lots of growing pains as we learned to be a family of five. So much growth in my partnership with N and, as a result, more love, too.



Today I start another year. I feel the door firmly closed on number 32 and opened wide to 33. It will be different and I'm ready for it.

And in spite of September 29th falling on a busy school day, and on a household recovering from illness and with N away on a trip, it is a happy birthday.



I am deeply happy today.